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Conservative Facebook Friend Not Gonna Waste Opportunity to Conflate Video of Cat Rescue with Rioting

WHITEFISH, Mont. — Conservative woman and Facebook friend kept in an effort to “not live in some echo chamber” Megan Miller is stretching facts beyond comprehension today to conflate a cat rescue video with “deadly riots,” according to sources.

“I honestly don’t know how she does it. The video she shared was about some kitten with a nasty eye infection being fostered with some old dog who has acid reflux, and somehow that provided the platform for a two paragraph rant about how antifa started wildfires in Oregon,” said Facebook friend of the reborn Christian and part-time essential oils salesperson in question, Dana Atkins. “Then she wrapped things up with an MLK quote, which then led into something about Jesus and 9/11. If she weren’t a completely revolting person I’d be almost impressed.”

Additional online acquaintances and people who have known Miller personally over the last several years confirmed seeing similar posts.

“Well, I don’t see too much of her stuff… not because I’m not on Facebook constantly, but because most of what she shares is hidden with those ‘this content isn’t available right now’ things and ‘partially false information’ flags,” said former coworker and morbidly curious man Rishi Singh. “The ones that I do see almost make sense: like, they start about being about unity and looking out for your neighbors, but then just totally nosedive into something about ‘government handouts.’ I feel gaslighted and disgusted by her status updates, and yet I can’t look away.”

While some can’t understand Miller’s online presence, others appreciate hearing the “truth” from someone who isn’t afraid to “tell it like it is.”

 

“Her posts really make me think. Mostly about what I already kind of believe, which is pretty ideal,” said local bank teller Felicia Camp. “As someone who wants nothing more than to have this country go back to more serene and idyllic times, I truly appreciate when I get the opportunity to associate anything that restores my faith in God with intense fear and anxiety. Bless her.”

At press time, Miller’s most recently shared meme was inducted into its 25th group chat, dedicated to quietly talking shit without having to confront her.

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