On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
Hey dude, how’s it going? Just wanted to say no hard feelings about the other day. That comment thread got pretty heated, aha. You said…
Oh yeah, I remember Skyler. God, I couldn’t stand that dude. He was always blocking me from getting into my locker and fucking with my…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local cop and racist bully Dennis Peters, who once brought a gun to Roosevelt High School in 10th grade, is now employed…
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies yesterday out of desperation, amused…
PHILADELPHIA — Outspoken supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, known as “Biden Bros,” are reportedly harassing potential voters via handwritten letters sent through the…
FOUNTAIN HILLS, Ariz. — Totally jacked local man Chris Wilkins reportedly spent years preparing his body for retribution on his high school bully Darren Tyler,…
MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Local bully Justin Marwall was reportedly unaware that the child he was picking on in his 8th grade math class, Kris Stevenson,…
A threatening text. A rumor spread on Facebook. A humiliating photo posted to Instagram. Millions of teens are suffering the harmful effects of cyberbullying and…
PEORIA, Ill. — Infamous sophomore bully Peter Fazio has chosen to target Dane Sumner’s large facial birthmark for hazing, choosing to leave Sumner alone about…
HIGHLAND PARK, Ill.— Highland Park High School was rocked today by an appalling act of violence when Cards Against Humanity shoved Magic: The Gathering into…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — The long-awaited reunion of seminal Northeast emo outfit The Silver Hour ran into a scheduling conflict as the bar area of the…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. President-elect’s series of controversial cabinet appointments continued today, as Donald J. Trump appointed Mike Stanton, your 8th grade bully, as his…
Internet Can’t Fucking Wait to Push Newly Famous Artist to Psychological Ruin
SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous musician Hank Todd past the…