Broken Tag Archives

Patrick Coyne • August 19, 2022

ORLANDO, Fla. — Disney-obsessed middle-aged man Sebastian Werner is to be tried as a minor after allegedly assaulting several guests…

Krissy Howard • November 1, 2021

JOHNSON CITY, N.Y. — Local clothes launderer Dee Chanthavong nearly realized his lifelong fantasy of diving headfirst into a pile…

Dom Turek • October 22, 2021

LINCOLN, Neb. — A local woman was seen performing life-sustaining measures on her Marlboro Menthol cigarette after finding it barely…

Julia Zhen • August 14, 2021

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Brad Harris, a first time house show promoter, triple checked to make sure the only toilet at…

John Danek • July 12, 2021

LOS ANGELES — The lone mic stand at music venue The Kick Drum in eastern Los Angeles “fucking blows” and…

Erin McLaughlin • July 11, 2021

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local man Gabriel Danforth is plagued with uncertainty about whether his 13-month-old Skullcandy headphones are broken after…

Mark Hassenfratz • June 1, 2021

ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local punk Maddie Conyard tied her beloved tour van to a tree and shot it yesterday after…

Krissy Howard • May 8, 2021

BEND, Ore. — Alleged “biracial poser” and local punk Liz Watson disappointed white stranger Dana Fields yesterday by inadequately naming…

James Knapp • April 18, 2021

JIM THORPE, Penn. — Craigslist user Hampton Bellamy sold a badly damaged and completely non-functional Kustom amplifier yesterday after listing…

Krissy Howard • December 3, 2020

BALTIMORE — An obviously broken phone that you for some reason refuse to replace reportedly does still work, assuming you…

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