WASHINGTON — A new report from the Food and Drug Administration confirmed that the rate of teenagers rhyming the word “cigarette” with the words “night…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A bag of baby spinach sitting untouched in a local fridge is currently coming to the inevitable conclusion that it will die…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bar fly Brock Cooper accomplished the impossible after he tumbled down five full flights of stairs without spilling a single drop…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
It’s always embarrassing when people come to your home and it’s one of the 358 days out of the year that your place is a…
PORTLAND — Local man Dave Hart decided to take the initiative and saturate himself with copious amounts of beer prior to the show he’ll be…
There’s no better way to spend an afternoon than touring a microbrewery and sampling it’s offerings, save for one critical oversight: The dude giving the…
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection between weight gain and drinking…
RESTON, Va. – Lifelong punk and diehard Dischord Records fan Meredith Jozak questioned the legitimacy of her beloved Minor Threat merch beer koozie after reflecting…
This is getting ridiculous. When I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I thought it would be a cool bunch of people swapping stories about…
SEATTLE — Local man Todd Cohen admitted that he is slowly caving to a misleading ad for the 7/11 hot dog snack known as “The…