Hold onto your hats partners, because the most sensational extravaganza of the year just blew into town. We may have just witnessed one of the…
Bartender Has No Idea Regulars Consider Him a Close Friend
EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular patrons of his place of…
Local Bartender Using Same Three Adjectives to Describe Seventeen Different Beers
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local bartender Zack Kenton, 28, reportedly used the same three adjectives to describe at least seventeen of the bar’s signature beers, leading…
It’s almost 2 a.m., you’re at the end of your shift, and you want to send a gentle message to the remaining bar patrons: go…
Welcome to my worst nightmare: I’m at a bar far from home, my phone only has 3% charge left, and now I have to ask…
Punk Venue Bartender Covered in Stickers
NASHVILLE — Local bartender Otis Fuller is now just as covered in stickers as the grimey surfaces of the disgusting venue where he works, sources…
Man Desperately Trying to Close Bar Tab After Seeing SantaCon Pub Crawl Slowly Approaching From Down the Block
NEW YORK — Local man Kraig Thuben frantically tried to flag down the bartender at neighborhood pub Dickie’s Taproom in order to pay his modest…
NEW YORK — A pack of annoyingly talented musical theater kids are reportedly moments away from completely ruining local neighborhood bar McCormick’s monthly karaoke night,…
Uh Oh: Dad Just Asked Our Server Their Name
Oh fuck, not again. Dad is motioning for our server to come over. She already remade his Arnold Palmer with “less ice” and agreed to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Brave souls slinging drinks at the Slumbar Saturday night prepared for the rush of headbangers hurling towards them during a set by…
SEATTLE – Gail Glover has had the repeated misfortune of accidentally running into her ex-boyfriend Joel Buckner at McGregor’s Brewpub, the bar he’s worked at…
Semisonic to Release Long-Awaited Follow-up “Seriously, Get the Fuck Out, I Have To Open Tomorrow”
MINNEAPOLIS — Bar staff everywhere are rejoicing as Semisonic penned a long-awaited follow-up to their 1998 single “Closing Time” entitled “Seriously, Get the Fuck Out,…
CHICAGO — Local punk Jacob Brown found his net worth has skyrocketed now that drink tickets are redeemable again at reopened venues across the city,…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s, while sporting a Cattle Decapitation…
Local Band Can’t Believe It’s Been 10 Months Since They Last Played to Two Friends and a Hostage Bartender
FREDERICK, Md. — Longtime punk band Booger Eater realized yesterday that it’s been over 10 months since they occupied a stage at a local bar…