Chris Bratton
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Marcus Ulrich, the lead singer of local thrash metal band Christknuckle, was reportedly spotted at Walgreens asking…
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Chris Bowen
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TULSA, Okla. — Local folk singer John “Ramblin’ Gamblin'” Shandling, age 41, took a firm stance against chronic foot pain…
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Brett Olsen
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AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties…
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Jordan Liffengren
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AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Sean Dennings shocked the local community when he swapped a New Year’s Eve rager for…
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Wyatt Fair
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Old age comes for all skaters. Knees weak from jumping down the four block at the local park, tired livers…
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James Knapp
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NEW YORK — A new choose-your-own-adventure horror book intended specifically for individuals in their mid-thirties entitled “Halfway To the Grave”…
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Anthony Carrano
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New York — Local thirty-something punk Charles Murray is unable to settle on an official complaint about this year’s Fest,…
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Bex Kane
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CONCORD, N.H. — Local high schooler Colin Black recently expressed interest in learning to skateboard but has serious reservations because…
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Corey Montgomery
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LAS VEGAS — Increasing demand for Ibuprofen following When We Were Young 2, a festival targeting millennials who desperately want…
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Alex Vlahov
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Time to trade in The Strokes for the pokes as you head for your first colonoscopy. You honestly thought this…
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