The English language is full of words and phrases that many people think sound disgusting. At this point it’s actually become sort of cliche. “Ewww don’t say ‘moist,’ it just sounds gross, I hate that word!” Or “Ughh, come on, ‘would I like to round up my change for charity?’ Barf!”
But, like several people my age, what really makes me absolutely sick to my stomach is when I mention that I still play in a band at the age of 33. Yuck.
Just typing those words out makes me want to wretch. And I apologize ahead of time if you get secondhand disgust while reading this piece. But I’m getting tired of people who think they have it bad just because the word “bubble” exists.
Some of you dear readers may have already experienced this, but have you ever met someone who you thought was super cute and fun, and possibly wanted to ask out, only to be blindsided with the question of, “So what do you do for fun?” I can never get out the fact that I play drums in a metal band without turning purple, and yakking up in my mouth a little. That’s true pain.
Sometimes I sit and I think about all those people in high school who were so cool and popular, and played all sports all through their time there. I used to think, “Well, let’s see you continue your football or basketball career into your adulthood, pal. I’ll still be rocking and rolling with my band well after I graduate!” Now that it’s 15 years later, I envy those guys who are now gym teachers and security guards. They don’t have to explain to their former classmates that they still jam the same as they did when they were 13, and play shows every once in a while in a VFW hall for peanuts.
So all-in-all, next time you or someone you’re conversing with says they don’t like how a word like “muffin” or “moist” sounds, think of all the poor musicians out there without kids, families or any adult responsibilities taking it day by day wallowing in their own embarrassment.