NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed…
LA MESA, Calif. – A group of 38-year-olds attending last night’s Social Narcolepsy gig reportedly spent the entire show discussing the best route home, confirmed…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local motherfuckers expressed their displeasure with the lead singer of hardcore band Big Butter for repeatedly and maliciously singling them out…
BOSTON — Merriam-Webster caused 45-year-olds across the country to collectively blow a gasket by adding “vinyls” as an official entry to their list of recognized…
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Elder millennial Connor Allison suffered an existential crisis upon realizing the actor playing a “geriatric old fart” in one of his favorite…
CHICAGO — Seminal emo band Sunny Day Real Estate is set to perform a show that will hopefully be at a reasonable volume and over…
I never thought I would find myself in a place complaining about the “music these kids listen to,” but it seems the older I get,…
I had a plan! My star was going to shine so brightly that it burned out before my time! I was supposed to get stupid…
Remember when your parents would watch 60 Minutes? You knew it was the end of the weekend. It symbolized the death of your free time…
The 1990s were such a simpler time in America where, truly, we as a country didn’t have any major troubles or conflicts. It is just…
ATLANTA — Thirty-four-year-old music enthusiast Dave Kelly went to exhaustive efforts to determine if his local music venue The Pit Stop offered any form of…
I was looking at tour dates for one of those younger up-and-coming bands and I couldn’t help but notice that their tour was broken into…
Oh really you’re a “big fan” of R.E.M? Forgive me for seeming incredulous, but your poser ass doesn’t fit the bill. Maybe you caught a…
LOS ANGELES — Viewers of the popular Netflix show “Stranger Things” are reportedly complaining that the child stars are aging too fast, making them feel…
NACOGDOCHES, Texas — Local 34-year-old Mark Finn was unsuccessful in his attempts to woo a woman into meeting up no-strings for sexual intercourse by texting…