Dan Rice
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Life is great and all, but after 30 years or so of it, a certain apathetic malaise starts to set…
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Kevin Coons
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Remember back in 1999? George W. Bush hadn’t become president yet, 9/11 hadn’t happened and the biggest worry on everyone’s…
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James Knapp
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard…
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Chris Bowen
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The English language is full of words and phrases that many people think sound disgusting. At this point it's actually…
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Trevor Graham
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Yo dawg, what’s the 411 with the shorties these days? I was just rolling with the homies and spittin’ mad…
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Jim Fitzpatrick
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The truth is, if you’ve escaped twenty-seven club membership, your chances of aging out of the scene increase exponentially with…
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Chris Bratton
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Marcus Ulrich, the lead singer of local thrash metal band Christknuckle, was reportedly spotted at Walgreens asking…
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Chris Bowen
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TULSA, Okla. — Local folk singer John “Ramblin’ Gamblin'” Shandling, age 41, took a firm stance against chronic foot pain…
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Brett Olsen
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AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties…
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Jordan Liffengren
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AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Sean Dennings shocked the local community when he swapped a New Year’s Eve rager for…
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