Rob Steinberg
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August 1, 2018
The Simpsons have predicted everything.They predicted President Trump, Disney purchasing Fox, NSA spying, grease thieving, three eyed fish mutations, and…
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WASHINGTON — Tickets and merchandise for the joint Def Leppard/Journey tour will be completely covered by Medicare, according to a statement…
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Patrick Coyne
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May 29, 2018
CINCINNATI — 32-year-old claims adjuster Aaron Madson spent the past week listening to classic nü-metal alone in his car “as…
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Brendan Krick
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May 3, 2018
LANCASTER, Pa. — 25-year-old punk Ricky Lewis called a press conference on Friday to admit that he had lost his…
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Chuck Kowalski
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April 26, 2018
LANSING, Mich. — Local man Jerry Schmidt celebrated his birthday yesterday, and with it, another year of his favorite music…
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Patrick Coyne
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April 25, 2018
ATLANTA -— Stubborn, delusional punk Drew Blaney, who has lost a third of his mohawk due to his receding hairline,…
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Randy LoBasso
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March 20, 2018
BRIGHTON, Mass. — 46-year-old punk Cameron Matthews is now willing to expand his musical horizons and give some new music…
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PHILADELPHIA — A long-winded and confusing rant last night about gender identity by legendary hardcore frontman Bobbie Bryant was likely…
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KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his…
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Cory Cousins
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February 17, 2018
NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two…
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