How many times have you been watching TV when a Taco Bell commercial comes on showing hot, smiling twenty-somethings “chilling” and “laughing” and you think…
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Another week has come and gone and we are no better for it. In fact, some would argue we are far worse. Luckily we are…

“That Kind of Music Sounds All The Same,” Says Fucking Genius Friend Who Figured Out How Genres Work
UPPER ARLINGTON, Ohio — Local fucking genius music critic Sam Buchman recently made very poignant critiques of all of their friends music tastes after pointing…
Time: man’s only natural predator. While once we were all new and hip it is only inevitable that we someday age into the “having a…
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – A new study suggests that the Cro-Mags may have used Pro Tools in the Late Hardcore Phase, contradicting earlier theories about…
Music News: Ska punk icon Gwen Stefani has revealed the No Doubt that apparently nearly makes her throw up in her mouth. Speaking on the…
CHICAGO — Local goth couple Caleb and Adrienne Simmons recently decided to break the news to their children that Jack Skellington is not real, sources…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Pathetic fucking nerd James Flick admitted that he knows the names of every band member in every single band he likes, confirmed…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local musician Garrett Thompson’s attempt to explore diverse music genres resulted in five uniquely terrible solo projects which were met with embarrassment…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — The ongoing legal battles that are plaguing Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential prospects continue with last night’s announcement disqualifying him from contention…
Formed in the wake of grunge music, Agoura Hills, California’s Hoobastank obviously has a cringe band name, but you keep on saying it, likely in…
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