BOSTON — AggroNap, a noise machine sleep aid for people who grew up in broken homes, is set to hit the market after months of…
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AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying a final goodbye to being…
BALTIMORE — A crowdfunding campaign began last week in support of indie band Shredded Gnar after a pair of Vans sneakers were stolen from their…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Short-form mobile video platform Quibi has proven exceedingly popular among premature ejaculators thanks to its 10-minute show format, performance anxiety-ridden sources…
BALTIMORE — Local office punk Sean Cruz reportedly moved up front and center yesterday to represent for his colleague during a Q4 earnings presentation, according…
WASHINGTON — An anonymous source has datamined the United States government and leaked what appears to be future plans for a release of the long…
CHICAGO — A panel of experts practicing social distancing across the country are reeling today, following the discovery that it is somehow already 4:05 p.m.…
Hey there, just wanted to pop into the comments section of this memorial post for your late husband and let you know that, while coronavirus…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A hacker has broken Super Smash Bros. Ultimate open and apparently revealed a host of new details about the game. The most…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix programmers are reportedly working on a new feature that lets viewers just say they’ve already seen the Jason Batemen-led crime drama…
KANSAS CITY, Miss. — Local rabble rouser and aspiring terrorist Shaun Norris reportedly deleted all of his social media posts criticizing the Islamic State of…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local Amazon Prime delivery driver Dave Eisner treated his girlfriend of one year last night to a necklace that’s been stashed in…
LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a waste basket will now be…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he purchased a stack of new…
BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t find out about the popular…
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