Let’s face it. This country has changed and not for the better. Inflation, never-ending wars, global warming, and overall lack of decency. We all know where these things stem from. It’s not a Republican or a Democrat issue. It’s the lack of Korn’s music and their annual Family Values Tour.
Once a year, or every other year depending on the scheduling, Korn would go from town to town like a traveling preacher reminding us Americans of the importance of Nu Metal and how it improves family dynamics. They’d bring in their friends like Deftones, Limp Bizkit, and Rammstein. My dad would drive us all there with his classic jokes like “Korn on a Bizkit!” and we’d all laugh. My mom would knit us all homemade band merch in case we got cold. My brother and sister and I would have a scavenger hunt over who could find the most dropped septum piercings in the moshpit. There wasn’t a cell phone in sight, just people shouting “South Park” quotes at each other and swapping dreadlock maintenance tips.
Then came 2008. There was no Family Values Tour planned. We didn’t pay attention at first because the tours were never consistent every year, but then 2009 came and Family Values was once again missing. Then 2010 and still no return. Clearly, the Obama administration was not interested in Family Values.
In 2013 as society was continuing to crumble, Obama tried to save us all by finally bringing back Family Values. But it wasn’t the Family Values Tour was it, Obama? It was called the “Family Values Festival” which didn’t even tour the country! It was a single-day-long event that only took place in Broomfield, Colorado. According to Obama, only the elites of Broomfield deserved Family Values while the rest of middle America was left in the dust. At least Obama threw us those breadcrumbs. Both the Trump and Biden administrations didn’t even bother to bring back Family Values.
If either Trump or Kamala truly wants to earn our votes, it’s clear what issues they stand behind, and by that I of course mean the 1999 Korn album Issues. Only then should we Follow The Leader. If Trump or Kamala don’t even get that reference, then our country is truly lost.