WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the nation’s potential school shooters, online forums indicated.
“It’s been hard dealing with being called an ‘unfuckable incel loser’ by my peers, even after I’ve used their class photos for target practice. But seeing Elon today celebrating the swearing-in of our Daddy in Chief with not one but two Nazi salutes just validated the entire existence for those of us who are just one manifesto away from spraying the school cafeteria with bullets,” said Jeff Wilder from his mother’s basement. “Everyone in the forum I run about final solutions for the woke mind virus agree as well. I know we have to put in some work telling the libs online it was a ‘Roman salute,’ but we all know what’s really going on. Tomorrow at school when I wear my swastika armband and a 9mm tucked into my pants, everyone better know it’s our time now.”
As of press time, Wilder accidentally shot and killed himself after attempting to perfectly mimic Musk’s Sieg Heil with a loaded handgun. Nobody is expected to attend the funeral.