HARTFORD, Conn. — Attendees at a recent performance by goth band Choking Ghost were admitted at a discount provided they brought a donation in the form of a “doubtlessly haunted” doll, spooky sources confirmed.
“In the infinite darkness that consumes all of our lives, it’s still important to give back,” explained the show’s promoter Helen “Mockingbird” Stuhlwitz. “That’s why we decided to use live music to help provide glassy-eyed Victorian dolls to those in need. Most people don’t realize just how badly they need a terrifying doll in their life until they finally receive one, and then awaken in the middle of the night to find it hovering above them in their bed. That sort of experience really does change one’s life.”
Showgoer Donovan Glazier, though supportive, expressed confusion as to the benefit of this particular charity.
“Though I appreciate not having to pay full price for the show tonight, I don’t see how these creepy fucking things actually help anyone,” said Glazier while depositing his contribution into a charred wooden crate next to the venue’s entrance. “I found that doll at an antique shop a few blocks from here. The goddamn thing wouldn’t stop humming the whole walk here and I swear I saw the eyes start glowing silver at one point. If that helps someone less fortunate, fine, but I’m just glad to be rid of it.”
A terrifying haunted doll known by the moniker “Isabella the Pox” described its feelings about being a charitable donation, which it could only articulate in the form of an eerie children’s nursery rhyme.
“In the darkness we will dream,
silent as we constantly scream.
Hollow eyes are always watching,
We will eat your niece’s hamster.
“A thousand years of blood upon you,
then we will return to sleep.
Nothing left of earth or heaven.
Our collective father was a swamp monster.”
At press time, members of Choking Ghost were thrilled that there appeared to be much more blood seeping through the green rooms walls than at any other venue they had played before.