MONTICELLO, Ark. — Local unremarkable man Phil Lindley is prepared to answer any question on YouTube interview show “Hot Ones” despite offering no reason to…
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Local maniac Cole Kristoff openly admits he prefers the most recent releases from his favorite metal band Iron Weaver, outraged sources confirmed.…
CHICAGO — Several Doctors at Rochester University School of Health Sciences were left with a few questions Saturday after examining a man who claimed to…
TOPEKA, Kan. — Local guitarist Austin Henderson is reportedly fed up with his father calling his lifelong dream of making a living as a musician…
LOS ANGELES — A tall, blonde-ish actor with Scandinavian roots based in Hollywood is struggling to remember which Skarsgård family member he is, according to…
CHICAGO — Recovered addict and veteran sober person Anna Caspian is happy with her recent reduction of La Croix consumption to three cases a day,…
WHITES CREEK, Tenn. – Local man Cory Romstead opted to ring in 2023 at home high as hell on his own couch after deciding to…
BUCHAREST, Romania — Law enforcement officers detaining controversial online influencer, misogynist, and sex trafficker Andrew Tate reportedly keep whispering “big fan” every time they walk…
PRINCETON, N.J. – Researchers at Princeton University concluded a nearly decade-long project which yielded inconclusive results regarding whether your long-time friend Charlotte Palmerro actually likes…
NASHUA, N.H. — Local punk Andreas Howell expressed dismay that his best days were behind him and lamented the fact he may have peaked during…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix producers are banging their heads in frustration regarding producer Tim Burton’s insistence that Johnny Depp should have gotten the lead…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Local PR account manager Madison Auerbach decided there is more value in referring to people as “unhoused” in her private conversations than…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Aging punk Mack “Sulfur” Hersch recalibrated his life’s mission from disrupting the effectiveness of the federal government to terrorizing his new…
GRASS VALLEY, Calif. — Local bar The Blasthole is reportedly taking a stand against woke culture by maintaining strictly gendered bathrooms at all times that…
CHICAGO — Local Guitar Center employee Bridget Wolf carefully cut a fresh guitar strap from a rotating spit before serving it to an eager customer…