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Record Store Owner Reshingles Roof With Years of Unsold Record Store Day Releases

PORTLAND, Ore. — Owner of local shop Tunehoundz Records Steven Southwell recently decided to use old Record Store Day vinyl releases to replace the dilapidated shingles on his store’s roof, audiophile sources report.

“I honestly thought I’d never get rid of those lousy Record Store Day releases that were somehow growing mold in the backroom,” Southwell explained. “This was probably the most efficient way to get rid of those Gin Blossoms picture discs and limited edition Mötley Crüe ‘Red, White and Crue’ records. Not to mention I saved a ton of money on actual shingles. Actually, I broke even on those. Turns out, finding a contractor who will work exclusively with limited edition records is pricey. Anyway, I look forward to constructing a much-needed load-bearing beam after next year’s Record Store Day.”

Long-time customer Angela Gonzalez loves the idea of a vinyl-based roof.

“I think it’s brilliant,” Gonzalez said. “Whenever I see those piles upon piles of unsold releases, I just sort of wonder if they could be used in a more pragmatic manner. Sure, that roof is going to need to be replaced after exactly three storms, but it might be worth it until then. But I get it. It’s like, someone thought it was a good idea to release a special edition Morrissey interview picture disc? Come on! That’s like seeing that sad dog at the kennel no one wants to adopt. Either way, someone is finally putting Record Store Day releases to good use.”

Its widely known unwanted Record Store Day products have had a number of practical uses since their inception.

“With how many releases that come out on that day, there are bound to be some stinkers,” said Curtis Getts, a local avid record collector. “Shop owners generally have invested a decent amount of money, so naturally they want to get use out of them. So aside from basic home and building repairs, they can also be good for broth bases for certain soups, stews and sauces. You’ll never have a hungry record store staff so long as Record Store Day is still a thing!”

At press time, Tunehoundz Records constructed its second store location entirely out of unsold Record Store Day cassette tape releases.