Press "Enter" to skip to content

Poser Sound Guy Doesn’t Even Know Who Michael Winslow Is

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local audio engineer Kent Barger was once again frustrated after receiving accusations of being a phony for not knowing the ultimate “sound guy” Michael Winslow, several disgusted sources report.

“Listen, I’ve been a staple of the Rochester indie rock scene for over three weeks now, and when the sound guy for the show I’m playing has never even seen ‘Police Academy 3: Back in Training’ it’s time to call a spade a spade,” said Chad Rieber, singer for local band Bacon Slam. “During soundcheck he kept going on about ‘kick drum’ this and ‘vocal one’ that. When it was all said and done, he never made one hilariously realistic intercom sound or even any ‘bleeps,’ ‘sweeps’ or any ‘creeps!’ I couldn’t believe it. That’s what’s wrong with the music scene these days, there’s no respect for the greats who can make the sound of someone stepping on leaves or a car with a flat tire using only their mouth. That guy paved the way for live audio engineers everywhere.”

Barger believes the constant barrage of accusations each night are uncalled for.

“I’m sick of people doing this to me,” Barger explained. “Just because I have a passion for individual snare sounds and hearing lead singers say ‘check’ for 20 straight minutes doesn’t mean I know every single person who can use their body to recreate 10,000 unique sound effects. It’s irritating always being compared to some guy who was in ‘Spaceballs.’ It’s downright painful sometimes.”

Winslow himself was known to have a bit of a presence in the live audio community.

“This guy thinks he’s got it bad not knowing who I am? Think about how it must feel to be me every time I get more fan mail from local sound guys worldwide,” Winslow stated. “After all, I’m a bit of a legend in the sound guy community. They’ve even made July 26 officially Michael Winslow day, where they celebrate by watching all seven ‘Police Academy’ movies or until they get tired of them. Whichever comes first. Last year they almost made it all the way through the second one.”

At press time, Barger reportedly watched a movie with Winslow in it and quit the live music engineering altogether after coming to the conclusion that he’d never be as good as him.