Cory Cousins
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SEATTLE — Members of local metal band Brutal Stepson reportedly grew heated last night when they couldn’t agree on a…
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Dianne Nora
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NEW YORK — Undecided voter Tom O’Reilly is still not sure if any of his top candidates in the city’s…
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Dan Kozuh
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CEDAR HILLS, Ore. — Local casually practicing Wiccans Lois and Timothy Webb told friends earlier this week that, while they…
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Jovian Gautama
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DENVER — Recently vaccinated McDonald’s line cook Lydia Dupree was relieved to be able to safely add layers of shimmering…
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Ella Gale
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NEW YORK — Members of glam rock group KISS were spotted using a stockpile of Sephora points at a local…
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Ryan Danley
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PHOENIX — Local punk and licensed therapist Dr. Tim “Roach” Rochestky, LPCC, suggested that a patient kick his square fuckhead…
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Tony Morse
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BOSTON — Local therapist Dr. Loic Middleberry attempted to reach new clients by introducing reduced-rate services for sessions focusing exclusively…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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BOSTON — Local straight edge father Maurice Puckett was depressed upon realizing he would have to say he was going…
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Chuck Kowalski
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NEW YORK — Television executive Arthur Gaines, 73, remains oblivious that the “Frasier” reboot he’s been pitching for the past…
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Ben Friedman
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AUBERRY, Calif. — A local woodpecker, ignoring the desperate pleas of parents, continued to go completely apeshit on a tree…
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