LINCOLN COUNTY, Nev. — Matt Skiba, originally of Alkaline Trio, and more recently singer/guitarist in Blink-182, is set to replace Tom DeLonge as leader of…
MIDDLETOWN, Del. — Local Middletown police are reportedly searching for any excuse to justify the use of a brand new tank the United States government…
PORTLAND, Ore. — An autographed, vinyl copy of Morrissey’s album “You Are The Quarry” sold on Discogs.com for 30 euros less than an unsigned copy…
AUSTIN, Texas — The Whole Foods Market grocery chain announced today that it will only sell produce picked by cage-free migrant children, in what the…
Kentucky, let’s get real. Senator Mitch McConnell is probably the most evil politician in America today. Yes, Trump is louder and more outwardly hateful but…
BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed beer snob Jeremy Drika pretended last night to thoughtfully peruse the beer list at a local brewpub before picking solely based on…
Dear Scabby: What does BDSM stand for? -WTF Dear WTF: BDSM refers to “blowing dildos sex machine,” or maybe “boner dive… something, something,” but can…
LOS ANGELES — Right-wing political commentator Ben Shapiro used Logic and Reason to produce an EDM EP, according to a press release on the Daily…
LOS ANGELES — Have Heart were forced to play within the cramped quarters of the drum riser because of roughly 9,000 “of their closest friends”…
WHITMAN, Mass. — Local punk Bobby Deitz was disappointed last Friday by the Hardcore Sorting Hat, which placed him into the “Hockey Fan” house despite…
SEATTLE — Vertex Solutions employee and local bassist Gretchen Garcia is leading the fight to expand paid leave to musicians wanting to spend time with…
SALT LAKE CITY — Employees of a local Goodwill thrift store reported a loud disturbance today, as a woman discovered several crates of religious music…
SAN FRANCISCO — 38-year-old father and successful business owner Vince Martinez is still, despite all sound logic and reason, nostalgic for the absolute shittiest years…
TITTY CITY — Female Body Inspector Benjamin Travis Dover was fired this morning following several recent disciplinary incidents, forcing him to turn in his gun…
Yes, America has modern day concentration camps that hold migrant children in cages of their own filth. But we also understand that a new season…