Bobby Korec
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January 16, 2020
BERKELEY, Calif. — A small town in the East Bay region of California is still completely devastated and covered in…
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James Knapp
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January 15, 2020
ERIE, Penn. — Local punk Jackson McCreedy is thought to be “rolling in dough” today, as his old Asian Man…
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POMONA, Calif. — Aging punk Kelvin Obera hired a no-nonsense private investigator last week, trying to determine the exact time…
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Kevin Tit
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January 14, 2020
SAN FRANCISCO — ConAgra Foods announced today a plan to reissue the legendary 1997 Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls split 7” as…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 11, 2020
ROME, N.Y. — Local folk-punk band and inconsiderate neighbors Brewdog asked the old man who lives downstairs and banging on…
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Shea Strauss
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January 11, 2020
I used to be a God-fearing man. A real fire-and-brimstone buff. But my faith in God aged just as poorly…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 10, 2020
NEWARK, N.J. — Local punk and expert responsibility-avoider Dean Freeman asked his neighbor this morning to throw out all his…
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MAMANUCA ISLANDS, Fiji. — Crew members currently filming the latest season of “Survivor” were shocked to discover that a scab…
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Michael De Toffoli
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January 9, 2020
BERKELEY, Calif. — Traveling gutter punk-turned inspirational teacher Marcus “Guru Hoagie” Sanders is directing followers worldwide to treat their bodies…
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Rachel Steele
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January 9, 2020
Over the past few years we've called out, canceled, impeached, and even jailed some of America's most toxic and evil…
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