Culture Archives - Page 526

Louie Aronowitz • January 1, 2019

PHOENIX — Local woman Sam Werst determined yesterday that the Japanese film with English subtitles “The Son” is simply too…

Andy Holt • December 31, 2018

CHICAGO — Local small-batch chocolate maker Wayne Barnes, concerned that Detroit will complete an economic recovery before he can relocate…

Mark Roebuck • December 31, 2018

EL PASO, Texas — Baby New Year, the mythical personification of hope and change, was detained at the Mexican/American border…

Rob Steinberg • December 30, 2018

As Americans, we hold the constitution sacred. However, America has changed so much since the constitution was written. Technological advancements…

Josh Jurk • December 29, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A trash can located on the corner of Church and Spring St. gained sentience late last…

Travis Flack • December 27, 2018

SAN ANTONIO — Local concertgoer Tim Flinanski is two tandem stage dives away from certification for solo dives in accordance…

Bobby D. Lux • December 26, 2018

WASHINGTON — Scientists researching the life expectancy of punks now claim that the first punk to live a full 65…

Kyle Sekaquaptewa • December 25, 2018

BETHLEHEM — A local show billed as “The Most Important Event in Human History” reportedly ended as a “total fucking…

John Dixon • December 25, 2018

NORTH POLE — Jolly Old Saint Nicholas admitted he was slightly irritated last week when his workshop was flooded by…

Francis Beringer • December 24, 2018

NORTH POLE — Santa Claus shocked Christmas enthusiasts worldwide today by launching a Patreon campaign to fund his 2018 world…

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