Tom Peters
•
October 11, 2019
TACOMA, Wash. — Local music fan Don Glenswig was elated last night to discover a long line for the bathroom…
Read More →
Cory Cousins
•
October 11, 2019
SAN FRANCISCO — A young San Franciscan couple enjoyed the beginnings of autumn this weekend, relishing the sight of a…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
October 11, 2019
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
October 10, 2019
CINCINNATI — Self-described anarcho-punk and Wells Fargo bank teller Gary Morin claimed again today that he only took his job…
Read More →
Jordan Breeding
•
October 10, 2019
MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Local sous chef Timothy Devino tried to cheer up his potentially depressed girlfriend Jordan Meyer yesterday by…
Read More →
UTICA, N.Y. — A local hipster was terrorizing shoppers leaving an area Trader Joe’s grocery store yesterday, asking if they’ve…
Read More →
Freelancer
•
October 9, 2019
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Termagant Pharmaceuticals product strategy intern Jeremy Hastings impressed colleagues last week by receiving more allegations of…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
October 9, 2019
Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
October 9, 2019
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned…
Read More →
Brooks Gray
•
October 8, 2019
NEW YORK — Democratic Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang defended himself this morning when a small, highly opinionated faction of citizens…
Read More →
