Culture Archives - Page 367

ticketmaster, tickets, venue, live music, expensive, scam, bad

Ticketmaster Lobbies Congress to Amend “Save Our Stages” Bill with $790 Million Service Fee

Chuck Kowalski • September 14, 2020

WASHINGTON — Billion-dollar event company Ticketmaster lobbied before Congress yesterday to add a “barely noticeable” $790-million service fee to the…

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bag, plastic, prepared, storage, environment, save

Bag Stuffed Into Bag of Bags

Caitlin Chung • September 13, 2020

GREAT FALLS, Va.— Local dad Nathan Sweeney created a bag of bag of bags, dumping multiple plastic bag-filled bags into…

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asian, actor, movie, expectation, parents, sad, annoying

Asian Actor Pigeonholed in Roles Portraying Occupation Parents Wanted for Him

Steve Yuen • September 13, 2020

IRVINE, Calif. — Conflicted Asian-American actor Francis Chiu credited much of his success today to Hollywood’s typecasting of him in…

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Overheated Hardcore Guy Cuts Off Tattoo Sleeves

Ryan Danley • September 13, 2020

VENICE, Calif. — Local hardcore guy Dan “Nukka” Reilly was rushed to the emergency room with massive blood loss yesterday…

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I’m Not a Terrible Person Because I’m a Cop, I’m a Terrible Person That Became a Cop

Ryan Danley • September 13, 2020

As a 20 year veteran of the police force, I am getting real tired of everyone bashing the shield. Somehow…

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grandma, old, forgetful, remember, memory, bad, story

Grandma Still Searching for Word to Describe Thing from Irrelevant Part of Story

Laura McCarthy • September 12, 2020

ST. LOUIS — Local Grandma Delores “Meemaw” Naggi is still trying to recall the name of “the doohickey Mr. So-and-So…

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embalming fluid, mortician, death, body, fluids, blood, guts

Cannibal Corpse Launch Signature Line of Embalming Fluids

Henrik Persson • September 12, 2020

TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in…

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groupchat, chat, messages, friendly, end, conversation

Neither Person in Chat Knows How to End Conversation

Patrick Coyne • September 12, 2020

MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end…

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suicidal tendencies, genre, punk, metal, debate, custody

Punk Wins Custody of Suicidal Tendencies, Metal Awarded Visitation Every Other Weekend

Dan Kozuh • September 12, 2020

VENICE, Calif. — Punk rock was granted near-full custody today of seminal punk/metal band Suicidal Tendencies, with Metal receiving alternating…

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last song, album, favorite, songs, music, preference

Man Has Never Heard Last Song on Favorite Album

Jeremy Kaplowitz • September 11, 2020

NEW YORK — Local music fan Jim Castro admitted today that he has never listened to his favorite album, the…

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