Patrick Crooks
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CHICAGO — Local couple Nicole Vario and Peter Brooks opted to stay together as the mere idea of dating caused…
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PARIS — Kanye West continued to cause a stir at Paris Fashion Week when he followed up his controversial “White…
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Jessica Carreiro
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IRVINE, Calif. — Susy Q’s, a new ‘50s-themed diner, opened its doors recently, revealing a shocking rockabilly presence within the…
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Patrick Coyne
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SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Elder millennial Connor Allison suffered an existential crisis upon realizing the actor playing a “geriatric old fart”…
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Chester Stillwater
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WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local tattoo artists are preparing for a huge wave of clients requesting the absolute stupidest, dumbshit tattoos…
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Max Barth
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PHILADELPHIA — A black Roomba S-694 autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner is, in fact, the only tenant in a local punk…
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Chris Bowen
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LOS ANGELES — Concert-goers at the legendary Smoking Barrel recently learned that the club has never had to refill the…
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Alex Salcido
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PHOENIX — Local punk Frankie “Bullet” Higgins is quietly and privately working through the trauma of leaving his Yellow American…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Viral TikTok sensation “Tariq the Corn Kid” shocked fans and political insiders alike after accepting a lucrative lobbying…
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