Jessica Lillian
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LOS ANGELES – Local mom Sally Perryman continues to worry that her daughter’s longtime close friend Josephine Lukas — originally…
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Carter Schenke
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CHICAGO — Local goth couple Caleb and Adrienne Simmons recently decided to break the news to their children that Jack…
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Jordan Liffengren
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Stanford University’s Fear Response & Behavioral Sciences Department officially confirmed “Can we talk?” as the scariest…
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Doug Kolic
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MILWAUKEE – Identical punk twins Ryan and Bryan Ohland recently revealed their ability to sense when the other is jonesing…
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Tyler Roland
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LOS ANGELES — Local musician Brian Herring is reportedly making a decent living as a working musician but is reluctant…
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Ben Friedman
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WATERLOO, Iowa — A recent independent poll found Donald Trump’s draconian immigrant policies were polling overwhelmingly positive among users of…
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Kelley Greene
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BOSTON — Local mallard Ruddy assured his girlfriend that his odd corkscrew-shaped penis is what all duck phalluses look like,…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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WICHITA, Kan. — Local horror punk outfit Shattered Heirloom reportedly only writes songs about family trauma as they are influenced…
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Kathy Lynch
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LOS ANGELES — Software engineer Christina Perry pampered herself with a restorative seven-day weed and cough medicine binge to make…
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Doug Kolic
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ST. LOUIS, Mo. — The annual holiday gift exchange at Clarkson Valley Police Department consisted entirely of Punisher items for…
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