Alex Vlahov
•
MILPITAS, Calif. — Local data analyst Wendell Peters reportedly received the dreaded “we need to talk” text message, sent from…
Read More →
Charles Bill
•
LAKE PLACID, N.Y. — Sexually curious man Alex Poe was forced to memorize three pages of acronyms before diving into…
Read More →
Ben Friedman
•
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of…
Read More →
Nathan Kamal
•
CHICAGO — An undetected and increasingly dangerous leak from a gas main at the Rogers Park punk house, known informally…
Read More →
Emma Jonas
•
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Professional punk magician Lyle “Skid” Harber is reportedly creating spectacles at a number of dive bars in…
Read More →
Matt Husser
•
NEW YORK — Centrist supervillain Devin “The Devil’s Advocater” Jameston gave an impassioned monologue today revealing his plan for global…
Read More →
Dom Turek
•
JOLIET, Ill. — Squatmate of the infamous Hell House Rodney “Worm” Mason is facing doubt from his peers after they…
Read More →
Doug Kolic
•
AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
MADISON, Wis. — Local screen printer Peter Taylor admitted he could really use the $10 check his grandmother would send…
Read More →
Alex Vlahov
•
AKRON, Ohio — Progressive-minded, but very smelly, children across the world woke up to gifts from Crust Punk Santa who…
Read More →
