Blog Archives - Page 142

We Wrote the Great American Novel, but We Did It by Holding the Pen Between Our Buttcheeks and Crabwalking Over Graph Paper So No Publisher Will Touch It

James Knapp • September 5, 2022

What the hell happened to literature in this country? When Kerouac wrote “On the Road” in one three-week-long amphetamine binge,…

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5 Basic Reverb Mistakes You Need To Stop Making if You Want This Marriage to Work

Sam Eardley • September 4, 2022

Are you still making these 5 basic reverb errors? The answer is YES and it is tearing us apart. You…

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I Lived Fast, but Didn’t Die Young. Now What?!

Jay Wells L'Ecuyer • September 2, 2022

I had a plan! My star was going to shine so brightly that it burned out before my time! I…

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We Sat Down With a Guy Who Blasts a Bluetooth Speaker in Public Instead of Using Headphones and Beat the Entire Fuck Out of Him

John Danek • September 1, 2022

Urban life has its ups and downs. On one hand, you can find something cool to do almost every night…

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Oh, so, It’s Okay To Write a Screenplay in a Starbucks but I’m Not Allowed to Record a Thrash Album?!

Dan Kozuh • September 1, 2022

This morning I woke up motivated. Motivated to make art. So, just like so many amateur artists in America, I…

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ASMR Isn’t Sexual for Most People, but Thank Fucking God It Is for Me

Jus Kaplan • August 31, 2022

Not everyone experiences autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR, the tingly brain sensation triggered by everything from whispering and crunching…

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I’m Only Swiping for Your Dog, Because I Am Going To Have Sex With Your Dog

John Danek • August 30, 2022

Hi, I’m Andrea, 28, and if I’m being honest, I’m only swiping for your dog lol! Take me on an…

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We Moved Out to the Country To Eat Free Peaches and It Turns Out a Lot of Peach Farmers Have Guns and the Peaches Aren’t Free

Stephen Bell • August 30, 2022

Having grown discontent with the drudgery of modern-day life we decided to move out to the country to eat a…

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How the Fuck Can You Always Afford That Much Cocaine on a Chef’s Salary?

James Knapp • August 29, 2022

Seriously? You work part-time at Uptown Gourmet Hotdog Shoppe and yet I know for a goddamn fact you're on your…

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Not All Cops: Some of Them Rip Their Clothes off and Dance Around for Money

Dan Rice • August 29, 2022

I know this isn’t a popular thing to say nowadays, but not all cops. Sure, some deplorable behavior has come…

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