If you’re reading this, we know you’re just as much of a fan of sucking, fucking, and stroking as we are, so we’ve got a special treat for you this week. We managed to nab an interview with our current Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, who revealed some slutty personal details in a 2022 interview.
Apparently, just fucking his hand on the daily isn’t enough for the nastiest little cumfreak in Louisiana’s fourth congressional district, and the depraved, elven cock-fanatic involves his own son in his daily Onanistic indulgences through the use of web monitoring app Covenant Eyes! We thought we were horny fucks, but this puts even us to shame! Here’s what the dirty spermshooter had to say in between repeated bouts of jerking his hard cock:
Hard Times: It’s great to meet you, Congressman Johnson! We won’t keep you long, because we know you and your son probably have a special evening planned.
Mike Johnson: Excuse me?
HT: So what have you been into lately?
MJ: Oh, uh, well, President Trump and I have worked to resist the Democrats’ plans to defund the Department of Homeland Security through—
HT: Oh yeah, and we bet you’re starting to pearl up at the thought of that, huh?
MJ: I’m sorry, I don’t follow.
HT: Oh come on, out with it, you greasy little pervert. We know you’re aching to tell us what filthy porn you and your hornball son have been emptying your nuts to. Is it hentai creampies? Edging JOI vids? Bizarre insertions? We’re so excited to hear that we’re about to blast ropes like Spiderman!
MJ: OK, I think I may have been misled with this interview.
HT: Oh, come on, out with it! Tell us what you and your kid have been pulling your puds to!
MJ: Good day to you.
HT: Congressman?
There you have it. The man is so debased that he left us quivering in our interview chairs, begging for more, as he undoubtedly ran back to his office to fap himself silly. Honestly, we thought we had seen it all up to this point, but one meeting with Mike Johnson showed us the true depths of debauchery that a human can sink to. Stay tuned for our interview next week with humiliation kink aficionado Marco Rubio.
