For god sake, somebody help me! A minute ago I was sitting down at a cute cafe for a blind date my friend set me…
I want the best for my kids, but being the workaholic that I am it’s nearly impossible to find the time to raise them. It’s…
CAW CAW CAW Hey you! Yeah, you! Can I get some help over here? I’ve been stuck in this fucking red ball of yarn since…
If I’ve learned anything from listening to hours upon hours of Jaden Smith’s Podcast Business Of Hype, it’s that only YOU can build yourself up,…
I wait tables at a French bistro in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. We’ve got a Michelin star, a killer take on steak-frites, and…
Nothing makes a neighborhood cooler than a Little Free Library. Its DIY aesthetic serves as a beacon of hope that, yes, people who live in…
On the outside it seems like I have it all: Unlimited access to input chords, wah-wah pedals, and the Guitar Center corporate Slack channel. It…
Last weekend, I was thrown out of my favorite bar for being “too aggressive” after attempting to throw a chair at someone who said I…
Alright, I’ve got this. I’m prepared. Rolling up to the regularly scheduled orgy with my clean STD test, 700 or so condoms, some Lubriderm just…
Happy National Ska Day, everyone! That’s right, today we’re commemorating everyone’s favorite Afro-Caribbean-turned-suburban-American horn orgy, ska music! And, by the way, there’s no point in…
Dinner with parents. For some, a fate worse than sitting through Andrew Lloyd Weber’s “Cats.” But fear not, with the help of sweet, sweet marijuana…
Personalities can be hard to cultivate. Many people find the self-awareness, honesty, and leg work involved in developing them to be daunting. Luckily, life provides…
Growing up, there were local shows at teen centers, VFWs, and in friends’ basements nearly every weekend. My parents retired to Palm Lagoon, a shitty…
These days it seems like every class graduating from college is more entitled than the last. Do these kids honestly think their student loan debt…
I love reminiscing about the good old days. Like in fifth grade, when I totally dunked on Owen Krevsky when a bird took a dump…