With Thanksgiving later this week, many of us will be spending time with family members we don’t see very often. Avoid these 12 conversation topics…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Renowned courtroom analyst Dr. John Andersen confirmed that freshly acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse was as proficient as a seasoned cop when it…
WASHINGTON — Fox News host Tucker Carlson used the 1981 Dead Kennedys song “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” as one of the first examples of cancel…
LODI, N.J. — Angsty third grader Billy Monroe reportedly caused a stir among Halloween revelers when he questioned the identity of a local mall Danzig…
PHILADELPHIA — Determined woman and job applicant Patricia O’Malley is creatively pursuing work that she’s technically overqualified to do by acting like a man who’s…
If you’ve been around the block as much as I have, you know you can’t hardly trust anyone about anything. You have to ignore all…
BURBANK, Calif. — Hollywood is abuzz amidst reports that one of its most fabled power couples, acclaimed director Martin Scorsese and his ‘70s muse, a…
GEORGE, Wash. — Dave Matthews Band is raising alarm among epidemiologists and everyone who isn’t in a fraternity or sorority as they continue to play…
BERLIN — Late nineties pop sensation Lou Bega excited fans this week when he implied that a follow-up to his widely celebrated “Mambo No. 5”…
NEW YORK — Local Amazon employee Jeff Baxter developed a plan to finally use the bathroom at work after reading Jeff Bezos will soon be…
LOS ANGELES — Hate speech enthusiast Chris Taylor Brown and his disesteemed nu-metal band Trapt are reportedly offering $35 to anyone who requests them on…
BOSTON — Local therapist Dr. Loic Middleberry attempted to reach new clients by introducing reduced-rate services for sessions focusing exclusively on dad issues in honor…
WASHINGTON — Embattled congressman Matt Gaetz shocked officials inside the Beltway with a bombshell announcement regarding his age, stunned Capitol Hill sources confirmed. “I’m only…
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Local law enforcement veteran Sergeant David Maddison drew praise from fellow officers for deftly concealing his identity to evade community criticism and…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the recognition for his horrendous views…