Cop Beating the Crap Out of College Student Looking Forward to Two Weeks Paid Vacation
NEW YORK — Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he…
Read More →
The Hard Times Staff — Page 10
917 stories found
Ruby Sells Apartment in Soho for $3.4 Million
NEW YORK — Former punk Ruby Davis, made famous in the Rancid song “Ruby Soho,” reportedly closed on a deal…
Read More →
Internet Detectives Believe New Taylor Swift Track “Florida!!!” About Troubled Relationship With Swamp-Dwelling Skunk Ape
APALACHICOLA, Fla. — Dedicated Swifties across the internet believe the new Taylor Swift song "Florida!!!" is about her highly publicized…
Read More →
Struggling Book Publishing Industry Pressures God to Write Third Bible
NEW YORK — Executives from The Big Five book publishers launched a coordinated effort to boost sales by pressuring the…
Read More →
Heartwarming: An Envelope Full of Anthrax Lost in 2001 Was Finally Delivered to Mitch McConnell
Have you ever been frustrated by the United States Postal Service because they lost a letter you mailed? Imagine if…
Read More →
Biden Attempts to Appeal to Youth By Appearing On Stage at Frankie Valli Concert in New Leather Jacket and Blue Jeans
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — President Biden made an attempt to win over Gen Z voters by appearing on stage at…
Read More →
Jealous Florida Senate Hurriedly Passes Bill Allowing Teachers to Pistol Whip Tardy Students
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Members of the Florida Senate quickly passed a new bill last night that will allow teachers K-12…
Read More →
Outraged Joe Biden Says We Won’t Personally Kiss Each Missile In Next Round of Artillery Sent to Israel
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden is reportedly fuming after Israel’s military killed seven aid workers and said he will no…
Read More →
Straight Edge Band Breaks Edge On Stage 5 Minutes Into First Show
BOSTON — Members of local straight edge band Hard Pass reportedly broke edge in front of a small crowd within…
Read More →
Woman Knows Name and Birthday of Every Dog in Neighborhood But Cannot Remember Name of Any Human Neighbors
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Carmen Montozo admitted to knowing intimate details about each dog in her neighborhood while failing…
Read More →