November 20, 2020
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted…
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November 3, 2020
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught…
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November 3, 2020
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people…
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September 20, 2020
OBERLIN, Ohio — Supposed radical leftist Kristen Dermitt revealed herself to be a total poser today, wearing a Che Guevara…
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September 16, 2020
TRENTON, N.J. — Mafioso and “ordinary dry cleaners operator” Eugenio “Two-Bean Gene” Bianchi underwent an unexpected and surprising sexual awakening…
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September 11, 2020
As a health-conscious individual, taking care of my body is important to me. I am the head priest of the…
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August 28, 2020
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie…
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July 17, 2020
Let me tell you something about my hometown of Darien, Connecticut. Growing up they taught us to feel pride. The…
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July 9, 2020
ODESSA, Texas — Local Libertarian Wayne Allen is maintaining his personal trend of only getting the point halfway regarding a…
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June 30, 2020
AUSTIN, Texas — Punk musician Miles Finney is forgoing a descent into heroin addiction and skipping right ahead to being…
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