Dan Quayle Catches COVIDE-19
PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. -— Former Vice President Dan Quayle has reportedly contracted the novel Coronavirus “COVIDE-19,” according to Quayle’s medical…
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Salim Alam
6 stories found
Pepper Spray Only Seasoning White Cop Knows How To Use
MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any…
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Man Considering Move to Los Angeles or New York to Pursue Dream to Fail Locally Instead
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow…
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Man Terrified of Commitment Doesn’t Realize He Has 5 Months to Live Anyway
MESA, Ariz. — Local man Russell Garcia is worried his six-week-old relationship could “turn into something more serious that will…
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Woman Against Meaningless One-Night Stands Prefers Meaningless Two-Year Relationships
NEW YORK — 26-year-old Angela Kitts announced today that she is now “totally against one-night stands,” instead preferring the stability…
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Billie Joe Armstrong: ‘I Once Had a Punk Phase’
BERKELEY, Calif – Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer of famed rock band Green Day, claims he once had a “brief…
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