PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. -— Former Vice President Dan Quayle has reportedly contracted the novel Coronavirus “COVIDE-19,” according to Quayle’s medical records. “Mr. Quayle checked in…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any seasoning heavier than salt, he…
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow his dreams in Los Angeles…
MESA, Ariz. — Local man Russell Garcia is worried his six-week-old relationship could “turn into something more serious that will take up precious time,” despite…
NEW YORK — 26-year-old Angela Kitts announced today that she is now “totally against one-night stands,” instead preferring the stability of meaningless, long-term relationships, sources…
BERKELEY, Calif – Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer of famed rock band Green Day, claims he once had a “brief punk phase” in the early…