BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers himself to be “a functioning…
All day long I hear people whining about supporting the troops. I can’t even go to an event like a Blue Angels airshow or a…
BOULDER, Colo. — Potheads across the country are leaving out Funyuns and Shasta for the weed delivery guy as he brings marijuana to all the…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither unable to sleep and thoroughly…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
LOS ANGELES — Progressive rock band, Sagramore, surprised attendees of their most recent show when they used the time schedule for an encore to assign…
NEW YORK — A local dry cleaner called Talking Heads frontman David Byrne this morning informing him that they still have the giant suit he…
BALTIMORE — Plucky, determined teens of the O’Donnell Street Recreation Center were disheartened to learn that defeating a local real estate developer’s son in a…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local woman Katie Sandoval has been reconsidering the stability of her marriage after walking in on her husband watching Zero Skateboards’ 1997…
LIMA, Ohio — A debate over payment and use of a venue on the outskirts of Lima has reportedly been taken over by authorities from…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Judge Bruce Schroeder told acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse he hopes they can “hang out again really soon” immediately following the not guilty…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…
NEW YORK — Jezebel writer Cara Olson has reportedly been ‘methodical’ and ‘giddy’ in her attempt to find something problematic about the critically acclaimed HBO…
ATLANTA — Local sub Darren Payne was rebuffed by his partner, Anthony Clark, in his request to be bound, gagged, and forced to walk around…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had engaged in a raw, depraved…