BAYONNE, N.J. — Rooney’s Tavern resident sad guy John Russo is reportedly nothing more than a lonely, pathetic alcoholic, despite matching the description of every…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a DIY venue, according to sources…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned friends and relatives confirmed. “I’ve…
WASHINGTON — Congressional members from both sides of the aisle put aside partisan differences last week, coming together to ruthlessly mock the band of Rep.…
Since its release in 1998, Belle and Sebastian’s “The Boy With the Arab Strap” has grown in esteem. Tracks from this classic indie-pop album have…
ATLANTA — Local man Armand Phillips was arrested yesterday and faces multiple federal charges, ranging from terrorism to reckless endagerment, after parachuting into Hartsfield-Jackson Airport…
LOS ANGELES — Father Michael Kelly of St. Mark’s Parish asked Dave Grohl yesterday to stop beginning his confessional by screaming, “I have a confession…
WATERLOO, Iowa — The staff at KFMW Rock 108 have reportedly entered the third hour of waiting to receive a single call to win a…
CUMBERLAND, Md — Local mom Beth Clarke proudly placed a print-out of her son’s band’s 7.1 Pitchfork review on her fridge today, citing the notable…
NAPLES, Fla. — A dinner party last night was left in tatters after an anti-vaccination activist and 9/11 truther used the event as a forum…
CHICAGO — The entire audience at Lincoln Hall last night let out sighs of relief when finding out they were free to enjoy their evening…
BOSTON — Blissfully unaware of the drastic ramifications the action would soon wreak upon him, local man Elliott Cole recently hit send on a “hilarious”…
RIDGEWOOD, N.Y. — Music fan Peter Brooks still can not determine if the Kapos, a punk band he recently discovered, harbors racist views, despite multiple…
Boy I tell ya, when they say to make sure to read the fine print they mean it! It all started two weeks ago when…
WASHINGTON — Distant smoke signals spotted by staff at local gay bar Pitchers earlier today confirmed that the bachelorette party of Becky Cartwright was en…