It’s time for our Adopt-a-Pet post of the week, in which we highlight wonderful pets that are looking for their forever home.
This week, we highlight Pepper. This two-year-old Hound is about the sweetest pup alive. He’s great with kids, other pets, and has healthy energy levels. He is just looking for a loving forever home to take him in despite his toxic views on rape culture being a myth and the MeToo movement as a whole.
Don’t let this good boy’s casual and pathological misogyny turn you off. If you’re looking for a lovable goofball to come with you on runs, long car rides, and to the beach, then Pepper is the dog for you. He’s an active boy who loves long walks, rolling around in the grass, and doxxing sexual assault survivors on Telescope and 4chan.
Okay, real talk? We’ve been trying to pawn this dog off for god knows how long. It just seems to be the same story every time: he’s a real sweetheart, we just can’t deal with his violently sexist and retrograde views on gender.
Obviously, that’s a factor, but we think with the right amount of training and proper reinforcement he can unlearn this behavior and, honestly, he usually shuts up for a belly rub or a scratch behind the ears. Dogs can be taught to unlearn bad behavior. Anytime he goes on one of his tangents, just crate him or deprive him of Snausages, which are his favorite by the way.
Besides, when you really think about it, is it really that bad? He doesn’t piss and shit in the house, obeys all basic commands, and is a joy to have fall asleep on your lap. You can always put a muzzle on Pepper whenever he starts quoting from Milo Yiannopolous, of course by doing that you’d miss out on his butterfly kisses.
We’re not going to try and guilt-trip you on this one, but if we don’t find Pepper a home by the end of next week, we have to put him down. Seriously, if you just put a little work in and taught him some commands he’d probably stop saying this shit.
This one is on your hands, not ours. Remember, these views are taught. There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.