Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

December 23, 2019

SALT LAKE CITY — Local 33-year-old Tom Marshman was sorely dissapointed today to learn he is actually “37 fucking years…

December 20, 2019

My step-dad was always a hard ass. He'd embarrass me in front of my friends, emasculate me in front of…

December 17, 2019

NORMAN, Okla. — A surprising new study found that it’s way easier to just change your password every time you…

December 16, 2019

IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone…

December 12, 2019

MINNEAPOLIS — Local indie band C4 and a Chocolate Bar severely overestimated their show attendance and audience’s wants last night…

December 11, 2019

Celebrities - they’re just like us in that they’re kind of assholes. Recently, we got the opportunity to interview acclaimed…

December 9, 2019

PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eric Sullivan still eats with his arm around his plate like a hardened, PTSD-suffering prisoner after…

December 8, 2019

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Millennial punk and generally clumsy dolt Tony Drummond bellowed several ironic “Tim Allen” grunts yesterday before accidentally…

December 6, 2019

HOLLYWOOD — CBS sitcom “Bright Spot” used a punk cover of the holiday classic “Santa Baby” recorded by The Erectroplasms…

December 5, 2019

TRENTON, N.J. — New mailroom employee Cole Horrigan surprised his coworkers at Tremont Auto Insurance Thursday night when he wrapped…