Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

August 5, 2020

ANDALUSIA, Pa. — A group of preteen boys playing in the woods yesterday were “totally meh” after stumbling upon a…

July 27, 2020

SANTE FE, N.M. — A coworker you loathed with every fiber of your being strutted around your funeral yesterday telling…

July 25, 2020

BLUFFINGTON — Roger Klotz, son of famed monster truck driver Edwina Klotz and former middle school bully, is “a fucking…

July 22, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — An anonymous protestor sporting a distinctive mohawk, dozens of gold chains, and American flag Zubaz pants was spotted…

July 8, 2020

SARASOTA, Fla. — Local musician, blog editor-in-chief, stand-up comedian, and medical records clerk Geordie Warren has his only real paying…

July 5, 2020

CRYSTAL COVE — A team of amateur sleuths and their Great Dane known as “Mystery Inc.” got more than they…

July 5, 2020

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local depressed woman Jane Lively mindlessly broke the hot dog-eating world record yesterday after consuming 76 weiners…

June 19, 2020

WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in…

May 26, 2020

WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden publicly stated his intention today to defund the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee,”…

May 24, 2020

Hiya Kelly. Just wanted to pop in real quick and rap with you a sec. You remember that great idea…