WASHINGTON — America’s longstanding symbol of freedom, the bald eagle, was replaced by the Costco rotisserie chicken as the official national bird, after a swift…
Portland’s Poison Idea is a scary band. Terrifying, actually. Not in a silly corpse paint, Hail Satan! way, but more like “Jesus, these guys are…
TOLEDO, Ohio – Local Juggalette and proud mother of three dope-ass jugga-babies Candice “Candya$$” Armbruster single-handedly lifted her ‘89 Geo Metro off the ground to…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local 43-year-old man Reggie Ferns believed it was harder to make friends in his 40s despite not having much luck in every…
Hand to god, this thing was a steal. At least I thought it was. 2001 Pontiac Aztek GT. 40k miles. One owner. Spotless Carfax report.…
SCARSDALE, N.Y. — Local estranged dad Scott Barry is reportedly still winning as a father by simply buying his children “whatever the fuck they want”…
MONTCLAIR, Calif. — Hot Topic announced the rollout of its biggest savings in store history with the inaugural Back to Summer School Sale, sources close…
HARTFORD, Conn. – Goodwill shopper Davis Canal suffered minor injuries during an unprovoked attack by a mannequin modeling the once-popular alpha male apparel line Ed…
LOWELL, Mass. — Mercy High School punk Theo “Gerbil” Barnes unwittingly eschewed prom tradition when he pinned a corsage through his date Julee Santoro’s nose…
CRANFORD, N.J. — Local actuary Ken Dorfinger showed amazing self-restraint by leaving a significantly large piece of chicken as the last bite of his meal,…
So you hit up the Taco Bell Cantina happy hour with some co-workers, slammed spicy margs till last call, were forcibly removed from the premises,…
WARWICK, R.I. — Longtime Dave & Buster’s customer and man who’s had a real rough go of it lately Geoff Pond was shocked when he…
BERGEN, Norway — Norwegian black metal band Benevolent Mouthfuck held a viking funeral for their bassist Erik “Zerononymous” Hansen even though he was still alive…
TORRINGTON, Conn. – The 3rd Annual Powerviolence Prom ended earlier than scheduled when an audience member accidentally flipped on the VFW hall lights, instantly triggering…
RENO, Nev. – Fans of Santana feat. Rob Thomas were overjoyed to learn the duo is reuniting for a one-song, 50-state tour, playing their lone…