HARDTIMES

November 4, 2025

BOSTON — Local nitrous dealer James “Lawnboy” Carpenter was found dead at the bottom of Mystic Lake wearing only a…

September 7, 2025

STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Iconic ‘80s pop duo Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics…

August 13, 2025

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Veteran rock mainstays Ironsides officially entered the phase of their career where they tour with an orchestra,…

July 31, 2025

RYE, N.Y. — A photo being used to help locate local missing boy James Dooley is shaking a community to…

July 9, 2025

PORTLAND, Maine — Cardiac surgeon and punk rocker Dr. David “Cutter” Peters mistakenly left a pack of cigarettes inside patient…

May 21, 2025

WASHINGTON — A new report revealed that among the many issues currently dividing Americans, none is more divisive than how…

November 27, 2024

WASHINGTON — America’s longstanding symbol of freedom, the bald eagle, was replaced by the Costco rotisserie chicken as the official…

October 7, 2024

Portland’s Poison Idea is a scary band. Terrifying, actually. Not in a silly corpse paint, Hail Satan! way, but more…

August 8, 2024

TOLEDO, Ohio – Local Juggalette and proud mother of three dope-ass jugga-babies Candice “Candya$$” Armbruster single-handedly lifted her ‘89 Geo…

July 9, 2024

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local 43-year-old man Reggie Ferns believed it was harder to make friends in his 40s despite not…