CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s, while sporting a Cattle Decapitation…
BELLEFONTE, Pa. — A customer at Quik Cuts Barber Shop cast an aching stare at a neighboring silent barber/customer pair while having his hair, and…
DENVER — Tooth Rust, a punk band on their first nationwide tour, was spared from robbery yesterday because of their Peavey, Epiphone, and other undesirable…
ERIE, Pa. — A basement punk show is currently running unprecedentedly early, as it is set to begin merely 90 minutes late and potentially break…
LOS ANGELES — Hollywood A-lister Mark Wahlberg is researching a new role as a police officer in upcoming thriller “Crown Victoria” by having already committed…
MECHANICSBURG, Pa. — Aspiring music producer Tommy Kent spent the overwhelming majority of his most recent mix session uninstalling and reinstalling Pro Tools, cackling family…
OMAHA, Neb. — The Britney Spears ‘90s classic “…Baby One More Time” being played between sets at a recent hardcore show easily garnered the strongest…
ROSWELL, N.M. — Local bachelor Ian Rael felt optimistic about his first Hinge date with Emily Backovich, an event that she will need to unpack…
LOS ANGELES — The lone mic stand at music venue The Kick Drum in eastern Los Angeles “fucking blows” and won’t stop drooping down seconds…
EL PASO, Texas — Post-hardcore band Asbestocide reportedly sold out what little cred they’ve obtained by not including free swag such as stickers or buttons…
It’s 2021 and it’s about damn time we feel comfortable discussing our personal traumas. And speaking of 2021, we have yet another universal pain to…
NASHVILLE — Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson Brands, Inc. announced an incredibly weighty successor to its famous Les Paul guitar, monikered the More Paul, sources who…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Multiple residents of California filed a class action lawsuit against any bands who included new material on a “Greatest Hits” compilation album,…
The gap between rich and poor widens each year. Jeff Bezos takes his billions to space while Elon Musk trolls global economics with meme tweets.…
As an elder millennial, I experience a lot of pressure to assume more responsibility than I may necessarily be ready for. Unfortunately, buying a house…