MADISON, Wis. — 24-year-old aspiring writer Ricky Trout is generously referring to a brief nine-day long spring break vacation as “that time I lived in Brazil,” irked friends report.
“When I lived in Brazil, I was really immersed in the Spanish language. I was basically fluent, but I already forgot it all again,” stated Trout, whose nine-day trip reportedly included two solely for travel to and from his home in Wisconsin. “It really changed my life. I stayed with this wonderful woman Antonia who was like a mother to me. I think everyone needs to spend a hearty amount of time outside the USA. As a bonus, it’s really inspired my writing.”
Friends claim Trout’s highly exaggerated stay in South America’s biggest country didn’t even include the typical perspective-widening experiences that come with living abroad.
“He’s technically not wrong, but he’s also technically an asshole,” declared friend Kelly Palzer, who declined to join Ricky’s trip due to already being on a semester abroad in Turkmenistan. “Yes, he did in fact ‘live there’ in the sense that his body existed within the country’s borders for a while, but that’s not what the implication of ‘live’ means. And according to his Instagram stories, he just got blackout drunk at the Jack Daniel’s Rock Bar. And Antonia? She was the maid at the Hilton hotel that his mom got for him. She probably cleaned up his puke no less than four times.”
Sociologists have varying theories on the rise in exaggerating the importance of brief international vacations.
“As time goes on, people realize that the United States of America is a dogshit third-world country, so any sort of cred one can accumulate elsewhere helps one’s image,” explained Dr. Eric Weathers, Professor of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “But keep in mind that people can see right through more egregious overstatements. Don’t claim you ‘lived’ somewhere unless you had to account for rent back home. Even one month is pushing it. I’d say two months is a good general guideline, unless you were studying abroad, in which case go fuck yourself.”
Reports indicate that friends are growing increasingly irate with Trout, as he insists on ordering fajitas at Chili’s with a hyper-emphasized accent.