John Adkins, Author at HARDTIMES

February 15, 2026

ASHEVILLE , N.C. — Guinness World Records announced that performative male and “writer” Sky Winslow broke the world record for…

August 7, 2025

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Bart Carlsen is positive the $40 band tee he’s receiving in the mail today…

August 6, 2025

Local Dad Matt Fredricksen was recently busted for eating all the Uncrustables at his daughter Kayla’s 5th birthday. Naturally, Matt’s…

October 20, 2024

Should we really let “society” determine when it is and is not appropriate to get a nice buzz on? The…

October 18, 2024

ST. LOUIS — Guinness World Records announced that Dave Flenderson broke the world record for the longest-running Smiths phase in…

June 23, 2024

BIG CONGRATS. Against literally all odds, YOU, a fully-grown adult, managed to pull off a basic social interaction with a…

June 16, 2024

TUCSON, Ariz. — Local 68-year-old Glen Darrington reportedly couldn’t wait to tell his server how much he “hated” his dinner…

May 24, 2024

Wow, Vulture. Thanks to your fascist gatekeeping paywall, you stingy bastards have deprived me of learning crucial info in the…

May 19, 2024

When you’ve got weird-ass taste, sometimes it’s easier to just go with the flow and try to get along with…

April 27, 2024

You did it again. The allure of drinking until you blackout was just too tempting, so here you are on…