ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Bart Carlsen is positive the $40 band tee he’s receiving in the mail today will turn his life around,…
Local Dad Matt Fredricksen was recently busted for eating all the Uncrustables at his daughter Kayla’s 5th birthday. Naturally, Matt’s antics have left the people…
Should we really let “society” determine when it is and is not appropriate to get a nice buzz on? The answer is categorically yes, if…
ST. LOUIS — Guinness World Records announced that Dave Flenderson broke the world record for the longest-running Smiths phase in history, confirmed sources who didn’t…
BIG CONGRATS. Against literally all odds, YOU, a fully-grown adult, managed to pull off a basic social interaction with a stranger. You didn’t stutter, you…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local 68-year-old Glen Darrington reportedly couldn’t wait to tell his server how much he “hated” his dinner while dining at the Cracker…
Wow, Vulture. Thanks to your fascist gatekeeping paywall, you stingy bastards have deprived me of learning crucial info in the Mulaney canon. “YoU’vE rEaCheD yOuR…
When you’ve got weird-ass taste, sometimes it’s easier to just go with the flow and try to get along with the teva-wearing normies at the…
You did it again. The allure of drinking until you blackout was just too tempting, so here you are on another Tuesday, waking up at…
Small talk is one of the worst forms of communication to ever exist. Simple questions can send you spiraling, making you wonder why we do…