James Knapp, Author at HARDTIMES

June 16, 2020

KALISPELL, Mont. — The Kalispell Police Department was directed by city officials yesterday to sell its Seawolf-class nuclear attack submarine…

June 9, 2020

I’m not afraid of ghosts. They actually fascinate me quite a bit. So I’m not at all concerned that my…

May 17, 2020

I know, you probably hear this all the time. Hell, everyone wants to believe that they’re some special soul that…

May 14, 2020

You know, when this couple asked to have sex in my hot tub I kind of just assumed they meant…

May 6, 2020

Listen, this isn’t working out. Sorry. I’m sure this must come as a shock to you especially since I overdrew…

April 28, 2020

TRENTON, N.J. — 31-year-old punk William “Billy Club” Moore’s new model-building hobby is primarily just a socially acceptable means for…

April 26, 2020

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Federal Government announced today that, due to a plummeting economy related to the COVID-19 pandemic, it…

April 19, 2020

Listen up you capitalist dogs! We’ve been looking at this whole pandemic thing all wrong. Sure, right now the coronavirus…

April 13, 2020

CONROE, Texas — RadioShack employee Rachel Meinke reportedly has “no fucking clue” why she’s considered an essential employee during the…

March 28, 2020

BOSTON — Local woman Farrah Johanson assured anyone who would listen yet again today that she is masturbating just as…

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