Punk Relaxes by Cracking Open a Nice, Cold Canister of Nitrous Oxide
SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk Rachel “Puke Pig” Valentino left an adult bookstore yesterday ready to enjoy a nice, cold…
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E.M. Caris
5 stories found
McDonald’s Cinematic Universe to Start with Gritty Origin Film of the Hamburglar
HOLLYWOOD — McDonald’s announced yesterday the launch of a new fast food cinematic universe, starting with a ‘Hamburglar’ origin movie…
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I Started Smoking Because I Thought It Made Me Look Cool, Which Is True and Why I Still Smoke
When I was an impressionable youth, I was corrupted by cigarettes. At the tender age of 16, smoking ads were…
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Pawnee, Indiana Has Country’s Highest COVID Mortality Rate Following Ron Swanson’s Mayoral Win
PAWNEE, Ind. — The small Indiana town of Pawnee became the epicenter of America’s Coronavirus pandemic last week due to…
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Indie Band on Wheel of Fortune Not Familiar With Vowels
LOS ANGELES — Indie musician RGRT could not solve a single “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle during last week’s taping because…
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