SEATTLE — Local guitarist Sadie Love swore today that her new button maker will be well worth the startup cost once she hits her break-even…
What did you just say to me? Why don’t you come over here and say that shit, mother fucker?! Yeah, I didn’t think you, so…
VENICE, Calif. — Punk rock was granted near-full custody today of seminal punk/metal band Suicidal Tendencies, with Metal receiving alternating weekends and some holidays, in…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local single Tomas Hart was stunned to learn yesterday that Marianne Shaw, a goth woman with whom he’s shared three dates, stood…
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Clint Herrera, the songwriter and lead singer for local punk band Dios Muerte, frantically tried to close a Rhymezone browser tab yesterday…
CHICAGO — Local metal fan Tracy O’Brien attempted to use the popular music identification app Shazam today to identify a death metal song while in…
It’s 1 a.m., the party is winding down, most of your real friends have left, and there are just a few stragglers hanging around your…
Hey everyone! I just heard the Walmart over on Chestnut fired some employees because they were talking about unionizing so now they’re picketing outside. I…
THE GHOST NEBULA — While battling the warrior race, The Zardecks, experts on the Spaceship Baychimo, warn that the ship’s shields have dropped to 30%…
METROPOLIS — After a brutal and bloody battle through the downtown section of the city, Superman defeated the ruthless General Zod and vanquished him to…
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Every member of seminal hair metal band Mötley Crüe have, several times a year, thought back to an anonymous woman who exposed…
SAN FRANCISCO — Music aficionado and frontman for alternative metal band Faith No More, Mike Patton, admitted today that he just doesn’t understand why so…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
VENICE, Calif. — Suicidal Tendencies frontman Mike Muir horrified visitors at the boardwalk yesterday when he took off his trademark bandana to wipe sweat from…
SEATTLE — Amy’s Regret, the last known grunge band on the planet, were successfully captured in the wild last week and will be rehabilitated and…