Soul Asylum Announce They Never Broke Up in Case Anyone Wondering
MINNEAPOLIS — 1994’s “Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal” Grammy nominee Soul Asylum announced that they…
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Bobby Korec — Page 23
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Marty Mcfly Stuck in 1982 Checks Bad Brains Liner Notes to See Exactly When Lightning Supposed to Strike Capitol Building
HILL VALLEY, Calif. — Marty McFly checked the liner notes of Bad Brains’ self-titled album hoping to see precisely when…
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Student Loan Debt Paid off Just in Time to Acquire Medical Debt
COMMACK, N.Y. — Local man who can’t seem to catch a break Josh Crabtree had a brief moment of celebration…
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Man Who Thinks NYC Greatest City in World Only Has Tampa as Basis for Comparison
NEW YORK — Recent NYC transplant and lifelong Floridian Jerry Smithson announced to a group of friends that New York…
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Opinion: I Back the Blue but Also Conveniently Don’t See Color
Listen up, buttercup. In this house, we always back the blue. We support the boys in blue and we know…
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Netflix Orders Several Gruesome Murders for New True Crime Documentary Series
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix announced yesterday that they are ordering a slew of new violent homicides to generate content…
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Rest of Dave Matthews Band Petition to Change Band Name to Literally Anything Else
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Members of Dave Matthews Band not named Dave Matthews got together yesterday to request a name change…
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Cat Tree Most Expensive Piece of Furniture in Punk’s Apartment
SEATTLE — Local cat owner Robbie Kratchiz admitted yesterday that his cat tree was the most expensive piece of furniture…
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As Democrats, Coming For Your Guns Would Actually Be a Logistical Nightmare
Republicans fear a lot of things: Gender-neutral bathrooms, Dr. Seuss books they've never heard of getting discontinued, and us Democrats…
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Six Things the Show “Dinosaurs” Got Wrong About Dinosaur Culture
Many so-called critics will tell you that the show “Dinosaurs” was a visionary masterpiece and technological breakthrough in television. But…
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