Ben Friedman, Author at HARDTIMES

July 17, 2021

WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed…

June 19, 2021

AUBERRY, Calif. — A local woodpecker, ignoring the desperate pleas of parents, continued to go completely apeshit on a tree…

May 20, 2021

FREEHOLD, N.J. — Local mall security guard Corey Knightly was in shock after a known ‘Blue Lives Matter’ proponent tore…

May 13, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Aging punk Mike Cruz was ordered by the Council of Punk Legitimacy to inform his neighbors that…

April 27, 2021

Hey there Delilah, I’m writing to you about your vehicle's extended warranty. I’m a thousand miles away, but I’ve sent…

March 23, 2021

VERONA, N.J. — Local 36-year-old Jordan Wilkins still hasn’t forgiven himself for completely botching his shopping spree during 1994’s “Nickelodeon…

March 2, 2021

Years from now we’re going to look back in this era of American history and examine what each and every…

February 18, 2021

RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another…

February 7, 2021

WASHINGTON — GOP official and QAnon superstar Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she will be breaking ground on a museum dedicated…

January 24, 2021

OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk dad Tim “Trashcan” McCarthy was shocked and disturbed yesterday after discovering a regular issue of…