SAN FRANCISCO — Semi-titans of American thrash metal Testament, Exodus, Overkill, and Dark Angel announced their plans to play a concert in the same vein as Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax did with their series of vaunted “Big Four of Thrash” shows, sources report.
“Having played in Slayer for some of the Big Four shows, I saw how successful they were, and I wanted to give the next tier of American thrash a chance to put on something similar,” longtime Exodus guitarist Gary Holt offered. “Obviously, this show isn’t going to be held in a huge stadium with a per ticket price of $200, but we’ll definitely be able to fill up a mid-sized venue with four bands that, if I’m being completely honest, have had way more consistent outputs throughout their careers than any of the Big Four bands, I presume.”
Thrash metal fan Ricardo Alvarez reacted to the news with excitement.
“This is going to be fucking awesome,” Alvarez mentioned. “I’ve definitely seen all these bands before, but never at the same time. I spent an arm and a leg going to see the Big Four in Yankee Stadium back in 2011, so it’ll be nice to see some objectively better thrash metal in a much more affordable setting. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking back then. Was it really worth it to pay all that money to hear ‘Peace Sells’ and ‘Enter Sandman’ for the millionth time? At least now I’ll get to see Dark Angel play stuff off ‘Darkness Descends,’ which rules because that album is an absolute thrashterpiece.”
Mid-sized venue owner Tim Dodds was also excited for the show.
“This will be a total cash-in for me,” Dodds said emphatically while rubbing his hands together. “Thrash metal fans are known beer drinkers, so I’m going to make a fortune out of the shitty 24-ounce cans of Miller Lite we’re going to sell. Not to mention what I get to rip off from the artists by taking cuts from all the merch that fans are going to buy. Cleaning all the puke off the walls and floors after the show is going to be a small price to pay for the mountain of money I’m going to be sitting on after this.”
At press time, Sacred Reich, Vio-lence, Death Angel, and Hirax announced their own “Small Four of Thrash” concert.