Dicky Stock
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PEMBROKE, Mass. — Local Dad and Lowe’s sales associate Brian Weckbacher was “giddy as a schoolboy” yesterday after conversing with…
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Freelancer
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Arguably one of the most famous actors of the 20th century, Bugs Bunny developed a new sense of comedy, sarcasm,…
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Bobby Korec
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DUBLIN, Ireland — My Bloody Valentine guitarist Kevin Shields manually installed a number of superfluous foot pedals to his one-speed…
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Collin Preciado
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ST. LOUIS — Local boyfriend Evan Rowe revealed to his girlfriend, Kate Loar, that he knows the name of the…
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CJ Hernandez
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Police and federal troops have reportedly abducted enough protesters to upgrade their unmarked vans with a variety…
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Patrick Crooks
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WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed…
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Ted Pillow
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MILWAUKEE — Activist metalhead Ricky Miranda vowed today to fight tirelessly for racial justice, as well as the right to…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — Local tattoo artist “Big” Frank Kowlaski admitted today that he was profoundly impacted by a tattoo he…
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KC Phillips
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Life sure is a trip. One minute you’re trying to drive and eat a comically oversized pretzel at the same…
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Laura McCarthy
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RACINE, Wis. — Goth enthusiast and mother of four Obsidia Darque Jackson added a charming new “Die, Cry, Hate” sign…
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