Jeremy Kaplowitz
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NEW YORK — NYPD officer Martin Stuart heroically paused earlier today to reflect that chokeholds are now an illegal use…
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Tiger Force is the moniker of an infamous United States battalion who were known for committing countless crimes during the…
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Chandler Dean
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PS4 CONTROLLER — Though it is used sparingly in many gameplay situations, local PS4 button Triangle insisted that it is…
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Jordan Breeding
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POLYNESIAN ISLAND — Self-proclaimed villain Bixby “Moggie Man” Middlegrift took extra pains to ensure his new lair would be built…
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Nick Ortolani
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NASSAU, N.Y. — Local parents and staunch anti-vaxxers Shannon and Dane Wittle will promote their youngest child Ayden to the…
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Louie Aronowitz
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Joe Rogan is in danger of being canceled and we cannot let this happen. Canceling a voice like Joe Rogan's…
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Jonah Nink
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LOS ANGELES — Film director Alex Cox came to the sudden and tragic realization this morning that his 1986 biopic…
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Steven Porfiri
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LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Jason Dominguez listened to nearly half an hour of a jazz album last Friday…
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Jimmy Beliakoff
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SILVERTON, Ore. — In a groundbreaking move to combat his players’ adeptness at solving riddles and subverting challenges, local dungeon…
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Krissy Howard
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LEWISBURG, W.V. — The favorite shirt that you wore frequently the year you were 29-years-old magically transformed to a piece…
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