Bobby Korec
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April 24, 2020
The Claim: Everyone’s favorite alarmist hip hop group Cypress Hill predicted we in our current fragile state as a quarantined…
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WHITTIER, Calif. — Administrators at the grossly understaffed Whittier Hospital Medical Center have hired former adult film performer Janine Lindemulder…
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Yesterday we launched a new Twitter account called Can You Violate The Geneva Conventions that acts as a catalog of violatable…
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Dan Glaser
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April 23, 2020
REDMOND, Wash. — 33 years after the initial release of the spreadsheet program Excel, Microsoft has announced that they are…
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Kyle Kelly-Yahner
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April 23, 2020
ST. LOUIS — Local punk Luke Koester downgraded his live-in romantic partner Samatha Tsai from “girlfriend” to “roommate” yesterday following…
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Bobby D. Lux
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April 23, 2020
I take my voting seriously. I’m not one of these people who believe in protest votes. Too many scene veterans…
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Taylor Roebuck
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April 23, 2020
LANSING, Mich. — Local punk Diana Spalsbury purchased 100 boxes of semi-permanent hair dye yesterday, just for the pair of…
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Tim Nash
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April 22, 2020
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local father Daniel Mercer had no choice but to rewatch the oft-overlooked ’90s sitcom “Becker” yesterday after…
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Amir Adan
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April 22, 2020
BURBANK, Calif. — Disney executives have come under fire for shocking statements made last night by animated television star Doc…
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Laura Merli
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April 22, 2020
MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at…
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